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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the average number of movies seen in a theater per year, by age group. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The line graph compares the mean number of films casted in a film hall each year, according to 3 age groups.

The graph below shows the average number of movies seen in a theater per year, by age group. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The line graph compares the mean number of films casted in a film hall each year, according to 3 age groups.
The chart depicts the standard number of films watched in a cinema per year, by age group of 18-24, 25-44 and 45 to 65.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the graph is inflated in the beginning, Young
Adults
Use synonyms
 and
Adults
Use synonyms
 were higher in the
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
ratio , and by the end of 2015, only the young age group was involved in watching the highest number of
movies
Use synonyms
 in theatres.
To begin
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 with, the graph indicates that in 2000,
Adults
Use synonyms
 had watched roughly 15
movies
Use synonyms
 per annual;
however
Linking Words
, in 2010, it had a significant decrease of approximately 3
movies
Use synonyms
, reaching
2015
Punctuation problem
2015,
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 it was seen with a drastic drop of approximately 4
tickets
Use synonyms
 and stood by 8
movies
Use synonyms
 per year. Significantly, the Young
Adults
Use synonyms
 age group of 255-44 were spotted second highest in the theatre with 12
tickets
Use synonyms
 in 2000 , but by 2010, the
tickets
Use synonyms
 had
plummeted
Verb problem
apply
show examples
dropped
of
Change preposition
off
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nearly 5 shows and
then
Linking Words
 by 2015, there was a steady decline of 2
tickets
Use synonyms
 respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, Young people were at their lowest in 2000 with just 10
tickets
Use synonyms
 per year
, because
Punctuation problem
. Because
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 of the constant increase in
tickets
Use synonyms
by
Punctuation problem
, by
show examples
 2010, they increased by 2
tickets
Use synonyms
 and reaching 2015, they secured the first spot by an increase of 2 more
tickets
Use synonyms
 and a total of more or less 14.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words adults, movies, tickets with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average number of films
  • age categories/age groups
  • per annum
  • line graph
  • movie-watching habits
  • trends
  • fluctuations
  • peak/decline
  • comparison/contrast
  • notable changes
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