IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table graph illustrates football, basketball, cricket, rugby, and swimming in terms of how many boys in 6-11 and 12-16 took part in these sports in the UK in 2013 Overal

The table graph illustrates football, basketball, cricket, rugby, and swimming in terms of how many boys in 6-11 and 12-16 took part in these sports in the UK in 2013 Overal
The table illustrates the information of two groups of boys with different ages (children and teenagers), and what
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 activities they participated
most
Change preposition
in most
show examples
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
2013
Change preposition
in 2013
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear to see that the most popular
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults were tennis and swimming.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the boys
mostly were
Correct word order
were mostly
show examples
 into football.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, children
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
 6 to 11 years
, football
Correct word choice
old, football
show examples
 was their
favorate
Correct your spelling
favourite
 hobby
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 around 60 of them
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferring
show examples
 to play matches.
In addition
Linking Words
, their second hobby was into was swimming as
approxmitly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 55 of them
were prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
show examples
 to swim. The second group,
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 between 12 to
16
Punctuation problem
16,
show examples
 were playing
tennies
Use the right word
tennis
show examples
 and swimming at the same range.
However
Linking Words
,
They
Fix capitalization
they
show examples
also
Linking Words
palyed
Correct your spelling
played
 Hockey, football, and
bascketball
Correct your spelling
basketball
, but that was rarely
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 about 10 to 15.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrates
  • participation
  • age group
  • comparison
  • highest
  • lowest
  • trends
  • potential reasons
  • insights
  • breakdown
  • younger
  • older
  • surprising findings
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