IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph compares the population growth in India and China from 2000 and gives projections until 2050, based on data from the UN Population Division.

The line graph compares the population growth in India and China from 2000 and gives projections until 2050, based on data from the UN Population Division.
The line chart shows the comparison between two different nations in people growth in the period from 2000 and their expectation to 2050.
According to
Linking Words
 the information from the UN population section.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2000,
China
Use synonyms
 had around 1,250
billion
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it
started
Verb problem
has started
show examples
 to increase since
then
Linking Words
. In order for
China
Use synonyms
 to reach its peak in 2030, with a huge growth in human numbers to hit 1,450
billion
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, they have been decreasing from that point to
finally
Linking Words
 drop to 1,400
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2050.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
India
Use synonyms
 had fewer people than
China
Use synonyms
 in
people
Check wording
the 2000 population
show examples
 count
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000.
In addition
Linking Words
, they started to gr
ow
Use the right word
Now
show examples
 from that year to equal
China
Use synonyms
 in 2030 with 1,450
billion
Use synonyms
 and continue their increase to reach their highest in 2050 with 1,600
billion
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
 were bigger than
India
Use synonyms
 in 2000. But
India
Use synonyms
 equalled
China
Use synonyms
 in 2030.
However
Linking Words
, from that clash,
India
Use synonyms
 went up
while
Linking Words
China
Use synonyms
 went down.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words china, billion, india with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • compare
  • population growth
  • India
  • China
  • projections
  • data
  • year
  • significant
  • shift
  • trends
  • stabilize
  • challenges
  • opportunities
  • larger
  • faster
  • highlight
  • change
  • show
  • expect
  • rate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: