IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You were recently disrespected by one of the employees at your local supermarket. Write a letter to supermarket manager. In your letter Tell why you were speaking with the employee Describe the employee's rude behavior Explain what you would like the manager to do.

Dear Manager, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to make a complaint against
a
Correct article usage
an
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 employee who insulted me at your renowned supermarket.
Last
Linking Words
 Sunday,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 visited your store
yesterday
Check wording
apply
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to purchase regular groceries. I have been a gold member of your store for a decade. On my
last
Linking Words
 visit,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 was unable to find dairy products because of the recent relocation of all the products after refurbishment. I asked one of the workers to assist me because
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 was in a hurry. Surprisingly, she started yelling at me. Perhaps she was stressed
due to
Linking Words
 the workload after the repositioning of all the products.
However
Linking Words
, her behaviour was unacceptable as I, as a customer, am
also
Linking Words
 in the same condition after the unexpected transformation of the store. She told me that
She
Fix capitalization
she
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 did not have time to help me. I would like to request
you
Correct word choice
that you
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to
Verb problem
apply
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train your workers on how to deal with customers in extreme circumstances in order to enhance their shopping experience.
Beside
Change preposition
Besides
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this
Linking Words
, you should talk with her about her aggressive behaviour. So that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 other clients will not receive the same treatment as
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 got. I hope you will consider my concern and take appropriate action. Yours sincerely, Rupinder Kaur.

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task response
Task response: The letter is good at showing why you spoke, what you saw, and what you want. It could be stronger with a short plan of action and a clear closing line.
task response
Task response: Use short, clear sentences and fix small errors to make your point easy to see.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Break into 3 small parts. Put the reason in one part, the event in the next, and the ask in the last.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one idea in each paragraph. Start a new paragraph for a new idea.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Check dates and facts so they stay true.
greeting and closing
Opening 'Dear Manager' is clear and formal.
tone
The tone stays polite even when you are upset.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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