IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some places, fast food, prepared meals, and sugary drinks are now sold in more shops and at lower prices than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

These days, it is becoming
increasing
Replace the word
increasingly
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 common for some places, fast
food
Use synonyms
, prepared
meals
Use synonyms
 and sugary drinks are now sold in more markets and unexpensive
costs
Check wording
prices
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rather
Rephrase
apply
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than in the past.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these days fast
food
Use synonyms
get
Wrong verb form
has become
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 popular among
people
Use synonyms
. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand,
one
Use synonyms
 key reason for
prioritizing
Use the right word
prioritising
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 processed and convenience
foods
Use synonyms
 is that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 assist
people
Use synonyms
purchase
Wrong verb form
in purchasing
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 more because it is affordable.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, when the prices of products decrease, some families which are low-income
have
Check wording
families have
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 the opportunity to buy them.
For instance
Linking Words
, these
foods
Use synonyms
 were only found in expensive
;
Check wording
stores; however
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however
Linking Words
, some prepared
meals
Use synonyms
 are now sold at lower prices.
As a result
Linking Words
, a multitude of
people
Use synonyms
 save time, and their
food
Use synonyms
 options expand. If it were not for these
foods
Use synonyms
,
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 would spend more time preparing
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 at home. Given that these products are cheaper, more
people
Use synonyms
 can afford them.
Use synonyms
One
Use the right word
On
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 the other hand,
one
Use synonyms
 reason why fast
food
Use synonyms
 is bad is that it disrupts
peopele’s
Correct your spelling
people’s
 health. Namely, when individuals eat many prepared
meals
Use synonyms
, their immune decreases because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 these
Use synonyms
food’s
Check wording
foods’
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 nutrients and vitamins are too few.
For example
Linking Words
, it causes pathological changes and worsens certain illnesses.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 rising cholesterol levels, we can observe weight gain among
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, from consuming sugary products, diseases like cancer and diabetes have appeared. If it were not for junk
Use synonyms
foods
Punctuation problem
foods,
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peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 would stay
health
Replace the word
healthy
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 and try to
preparing
Wrong verb form
prepare
show examples
meals
Use synonyms
 at home.
To sum up
Linking Words
, despite the advantages of junk
meals
Use synonyms
, the disadvantages far outweigh.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should only eat
Use synonyms
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 at home.

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task response
Task response: Start with your view in the first line. Give 1 or 2 clear reasons and a short example for each. Stick to the question.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: Use a plan with four parts: introduction, body 1, body 2, conclusion. Use simple link words like 'first', 'but', 'also', 'therefore'. Fix mistakes in the phrase 'On the other hand' and keep the text clear.
task response
A final clear view is given.
coherence
There are some reasons and simple examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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