You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company Write at least 150 words.

Dear Sir, I found on the
company
Use synonyms
's website
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
there is an ongoing hiring for the senior department. I would like to express my interest in
this
Linking Words
, and would like you to consider me for the position. I have a lot of key qualities in my current position as a loan collections agent,
such
Linking Words
as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
empathy, intonation and co-operation. I got familiar with various programmes
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
that the
company
Use synonyms
uses,
for instance
Linking Words
,
calms
Fix the agreement mistake
Calm
show examples
, CFI and
spectrum
Fix capitalization
Spectrum
show examples
, and
also
Linking Words
acquired the skill of multitasking and
efficient-working
Use the right word
efficient working
show examples
. I strongly believe that I can be an asset to the
company
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
if promoted to the senior department because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
the
organization
Use the right word
organisation
show examples
does not have to waste time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teaching the basics, as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
I am already working with them.
Also
Linking Words
, my
hard-work
Use the right word
hard work
show examples
and positive attitude towards my work would definitely increase the business for the institution
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and enhance its productivity. I want to continue working with
this
Linking Words
entity, because it offers a very friendly and healthy
work-environment
Use the right word
work environment
show examples
. Everyone, including the management and my colleagues,
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
always ready to offer a
helping-hand
Use the right word
helping hand
show examples
whenever
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
required.
Also
Linking Words
to mention, I do not wish to leave
this
Linking Words
company
Use synonyms
as it has
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
pay rate,
in addition
Linking Words
to various other benefits. I believe to
be
Verb problem
am
show examples
capable of being considered for
this
Linking Words
new role, and hope that you will acknowledge my request
giving
Punctuation problem
, giving
show examples
me the chance to excel in
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
department. Yours sincerely Himani Jaggi

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content
Add clear examples of what you learned and how it helps your work.
structure
Break long sentences into short ones and write one idea per paragraph to give a smoother flow.
language
Fix awkward words and easy phrases to be simple and clear, for example 'I have become familiar with the company systems' and 'this would help the team.'
content
Give a clear link between moving to the new dept and your career plan, and show how it helps the team.
tone
Polite tone toward the manager.
loyalty
Shows you want to stay with the company and value the pay and benefits.
content strength
States a goal to grow in company and links it to the business need.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • career development
  • transferable skills
  • professional growth
  • department
  • diversify experience
  • benefit
  • contribute
  • innovate
  • perspective
  • team collaboration
  • job satisfaction
  • company loyalty
  • internal transfer
  • long-term commitment
  • value addition
What to do next:
Look at other essays: