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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the proportion of women in the labor force and women in management in five countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant. (Hà Vy)

The table below shows the proportion of women in the labor force and women in management in five countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant. (Hà Vy)
The table provides information about
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 percentage of
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
show examples
 and as managers in five countries
Overall
Linking Words
,in four nations like Egypt,
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
,Japan
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the US proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 in the
labor
Use the right word
labour
show examples
 force is more
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 in
managers
Replace the word
management
show examples
,
although
Linking Words
 in
Use synonyms
Australia
Punctuation problem
Australia,
show examples
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 is vice
versa
Use the right word
reverse
show examples
less
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
 size of
women
Use synonyms
 who
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
 as
Use synonyms
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
show examples
 is lowest
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
. In the US and
Australia
Use synonyms
 percentage of
workers
Use synonyms
 in both job
title
Fix the agreement mistake
titles
show examples
 is higher than in
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three nations,
while
Linking Words
 the US have 46% of
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
show examples
,43% of administrators,in
Use synonyms
Australia
Punctuation problem
Australia,
show examples
 they have 42% of
Correct article usage
the labor
show examples
labor
Use the right word
labour
show examples
 force and 43% of managers.In
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
manager
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
 is
lowest-9
Correct article usage
the lowest-9
show examples
%,but 41% of
workers
Use synonyms
. In Egypt
number
Use synonyms
 of
workers
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 minimum,20% and 12%
Use synonyms
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
show examples
,its second country after
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
 have
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 rate.
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
However
show examples
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
 in Japan average
women
Use synonyms
workers
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more than
anyone
Use the right word
any
show examples
 other in
this
Linking Words
 table
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 48%,but
women
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
show examples
 is
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
lower than
this
Linking Words
-17%. Surely,in the US and
Australia
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
 of
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 as
women
Use synonyms
 is higher and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 proportion.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sri, lanka, women, australia, number, manager, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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