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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph below shows the percentage of people in Africe subscribing to mobile and fixed-line phones from 1994-2004.

The line graph below shows the percentage of people in Africe subscribing to mobile and fixed-line phones from 1994-2004.
The chart compares the proportion of individuals who subscribe to mobile lines and fixed-line
phones
Use synonyms
 across Africa over the period of ten years (1994 - 2004).
Overall
Linking Words
, the subscribers of mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 have witnessed a significant increase in Africa,
while
Linking Words
 fixed-line
phones
Use synonyms
 have experienced
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
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 change throughout the period. Starting from fixed-line
phones
Use synonyms
, the subscribers were just under 2
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
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 in 1994
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 witnessed a gradual increase to 3.1
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
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 over the 10 years. (2004)
By contrast
Linking Words
, in
1994
Punctuation problem
1994,
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 the rate of people who subscribed to mobile lines was nearly 0.06
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it stayed stable within two years (1996). After that, it overtook the landlines and illustrated considerable growth to just under 9
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 over a decade (2004).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words phones, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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