IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on important subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over whether
students
Use synonyms
 should learn
Use synonyms
science
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
 of
dish
Check wording
cooking
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 and
cooking
Check wording
dish
show examples
 or
focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
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 entirely on academic
subjects
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.
While
Linking Words
both
Use synonyms
 perspectives have merit,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 personally believe that
food
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 should be included alongside other
subjects
Use synonyms
. Supporters of
food
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education
Use synonyms
 argue that understanding
food
Use synonyms
education
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 is essential for
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 lifestyle. As nowadays a lot of people can not control their selves from eating unhealthy
food
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 (fast-
food
Use synonyms
), and
not
Verb problem
are not
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 able to keep fit, and avoid obesity, young individuals need knowledge
pf
Use the right word
of
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 how diet and healthy dishes affect their bodies.
For instance
Linking Words
,
students
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 who study how to prepare balanced meals are more likely to adopt healthier habits.
Thus
Linking Words
,
food
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
 can have a lasting positive impact on their well-being and can be really beneficial in the future. An opposing view is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 many argue that many
subjects
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Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as mathematics,
science
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 and
languages
Punctuation problem
languages,
show examples
 should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
priority. These
subjects
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are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
often lead to higher
education
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 and professional careers.
For example
Linking Words
, a strong background
of
Change preposition
in
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 math and
science
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 is essential basics of engineering and finance.
Therefore
Linking Words
, critics believe that meal
education
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 should not reduce the time
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
given to important academic learning. In my view, schools should combine
both
Use synonyms
 approaches.
While
Linking Words
 academic knowledge is vital for future employment, avoiding health
education
Use synonyms
 may create long-term problems. A balanced schedule that includes basic
food
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science
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 alongside core
subjects
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 can ensure
students
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 are
both
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 knowledgeable and healthy. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 academic
subjects
Use synonyms
 are crucial for career success,
food
Use synonyms
science
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also
Linking Words
 plays an important role in preparing
students
Use synonyms
 for real life. A balanced approach where schools teach
both
Use synonyms
 can lead to healthier and more capable future generations.

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Structure
Plan your essay. Make the main idea clear in the first line and keep it in every part.
Development
Give clear and short examples that fit the idea you make.
Grammar
Fix grammar and easy word use. Use simple sentences and check for small errors.
Cohesion
Link parts with easy words like first, also, but, however, in addition.
Task Response
Answer all parts of the task. Say your view in the intro and end with a clear view in the final sentence.
Content
Clear view and good spread of ideas for both sides.
Structure
There is a clear intro and a wrap up (conclusion).
Content
Some examples used show how food idea can help health.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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