IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Write an email to Mr. Tam Phan, HR Manager at Inner's Vietnamese subsidiary, saying that you are against the company's move to point out several reasons, including your reasons and other staff's (at least two) ask the company if they can reconsider the move or suggest solutions

Dear Mr
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 Tam
phan
Fix capitalization
Phan
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, I hope
this
Linking Words
 email finds you well
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I am writing
this
Linking Words
 email to point out some future problems which may
arising
Wrong verb form
arise
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 from the company's decision
of moving
Change preposition
to move
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. Currently, including me and some of my coworkers have moved to
Correct article usage
a near
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near by
Use the right word
nearby
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 area to avoid having to spend extra time
in
Change preposition
on
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commute
Correct article usage
the commute
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. Mr. Nelson
who
Punctuation problem
, who
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is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 working with
this
Linking Words
 company for
past
Correct article usage
the past
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 8
years
Punctuation problem
years,
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 has sold off his old house and bought a new one in
this
Linking Words
 neighbourhood for the sole reason of avoiding excessive travel.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there are many
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 who
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not own
private
Correct article usage
a private
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 vehicle and are
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
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 on public transport
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 will make it even harder for transportation. On top of that,
My
Fix capitalization
my
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 daughter, who is 3 years old,
Just
Fix capitalization
just
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 got admitted to
nearby
Correct article usage
a nearby
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 playschool.
Now
Punctuation problem
Now,
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 if we
Wrong verb form
move
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moved
Punctuation problem
moved,
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 it will be hard for me to pick her up after work before they close daily. Please consider not moving to a new place. If required, Downsize from two storeys to
single
Correct article usage
a single
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 story and sublet the other floor to generate some extra revenue. I hope you will consider my suggestion. I hope to hear
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 positive response from you. Sincerely, Mac

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task response
Add a clear start. State why you write and who you are writing to.
coherence
Give a clear list of main ideas. Use one paragraph per idea and keep a path of thought.
grammar
Use simple, short sentences. Check grammar as you go.
tone
Ask for a move to be reconsidered in a kind way and give options or steps the firm can take.
conclusion
Finish with a short thank you and a clear wish for a response.
content
You show care for work and life.
content
You give real reasons to not move.
tone
You ask for options the firm can take.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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