IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the future, more people will choose to go on holidays in their own country, and not to travel aboard on holiday. Do you agree or disagree? disagree moving to other contrie for job so they likke to visit india

There has been
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 upsurge in taking
vactions
Correct your spelling
vacations
 for people in
this
Linking Words
 era.Some folks
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 years, society members will select their
home
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
 to
visit
Use synonyms
 rather
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 other
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
,
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 essay
devel
Use the right word
delves
show examples
 into both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 I strongly agree with the given statement. I am going to express my thoughts on
this
Linking Words
 essay in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, by visiting their
home
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
 they will get a chance to meet their family, because most of the
country
Use synonyms
 people stay away from their
home
Use synonyms
 town to earn their livelyhood and they will miss their parents and siblings, so if they will
visit
Use synonyms
 their
country
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they will meet with friends, apart from that they will live their memories , which they had and get chance to spend their quality time over there.
For
Linking Words
instance
Punctuation problem
instance,
show examples
 whenever a
person
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
visit
Correct subject-verb agreement
visits
show examples
 their
home
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they will forget all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of stress and
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
 fresh.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they will focus on their work.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, as all we know when a
person
Use synonyms
 live in other
country
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they can not get a chance to celebrate their festivals and traditions, so by visiting a
home
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
 they will not feel detached from their culture and traditons,
for example
Linking Words
 Diwali is most famous festival in India so every man and female wants to enjoy
this
Linking Words
 with their family.
Along with
Linking Words
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 they will get a
chace
Correct your spelling
chance
 to eat their
favorite
Use the right word
favourite
show examples
 food in their hometown.
To conclude
Linking Words
, after
poundering
Correct your spelling
pondering
 a great deal of thoughts, every
person
Use synonyms
 should
visit
Use synonyms
 their
home
Use synonyms
city
Punctuation problem
city,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 they will get
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of attachment with their culture
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Linking Words
moreover
Punctuation problem
moreover,
show examples
 they will enjoy their holidays with their same
laguage
Correct your spelling
language
person
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the prompt clearly. Say if you agree or disagree and use one clear view throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make a plan before you write. Use clear parts: a short intro, 2-3 in‑depth body parts, and a short conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links like First, Also, But, Then, Finally to connect ideas.
grammar and vocabulary
Check spelling and grammar. Watch for main word endings and common errors.
content
The idea to focus on home life and culture is clear.
structure
There is a visible plan with an introduction and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: