IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is better to work in the same job for their entire life, while others think it is better to change jobs frequently. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is often argued that
people
Use synonyms
 should stick to one
job
Use synonyms
 for
lifetime
Correct article usage
a lifetime
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that individuals should explore all the possible options.
This
Linking Words
 essay will shed light on both sides of the argument before presenting my own viewpoint. To commence with, there are various reasons to work at the same
job
Use synonyms
 for the entire life. The primary reason is the comfort zone and adaptability.
For instance
Linking Words
, when a
person
Use synonyms
 spends more than five years at
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same
job
Use synonyms
, he gets
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 to the working environment and the
people
Use synonyms
 he
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
 with.
Therefore
Linking Words
, he forms a relationship at work which benefits him
finanacially
Correct your spelling
financially
, mentally and emotionally.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the chances of growth or promotion are significantly
high
Replace the word
higher
show examples
 for an
old
Punctuation problem
old,
show examples
 trustworthy employee than
any
Change preposition
for any
show examples
 new hire. To illustrate, an individual with 5-10 years of experience in the same field
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 in the same
company
Punctuation problem
company,
show examples
 knows all the
people
Use synonyms
 working
aroung
Correct your spelling
around
, which helps him to collaborate with
team
Correct article usage
the team
show examples
 in order to make improvements at the workplace
along with
Linking Words
 becoming a great leader. On the flip side, switching jobs
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 human
being
Replace the word
beings
show examples
 a chance to expand their horizon. If a
person
Use synonyms
 sticks to one
job
Use synonyms
, they would not be able to explore the best of their abilities because they never
tried
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 anything new or
took
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 any
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
. Moving
further
Linking Words
, the other advantage of changing
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
time
Change preposition
from time
show examples
 to time is that it
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 the employees an opportunity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
finanacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 gain.
For example
Linking Words
, the maximum salary increment in any company is about 4%,
whereas
Linking Words
 if the
person
Use synonyms
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
 a new
job
Use synonyms
 in
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
firm
Punctuation problem
firm,
show examples
 the salary increase can be
upto
Change preposition
up
show examples
 8% to 10%.
Thus
Linking Words
, to attain a better lifestyle and to build a
soild
Correct your spelling
solid
 career
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 prefer to switch jobs.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it can be inferred from the above confabulation that
although
Linking Words
 there are numerous pros of doing one
job
Use synonyms
 throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life, the significance of changing
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in terms of career growth should not be overlooked.
While
Linking Words
 the
person
Use synonyms
 should change the workplace.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 order to have a solid foundation
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their career, but they should
also
Linking Words
 know the importance of commitment and building
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trust within the industry.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Use one clear idea in each paragraph and begin with a simple sentence that states your point.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Small errors can hide your meaning.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas link (and, but, however, also).
examples
Give a clear example for each point from real life or your view.
task response
End with a strong line that repeats your view.
development
You show both sides and a view of your own at the end.
organization
Your plan uses intro, body and conclusion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: