IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The government should prioritize funding for science education over other subjects to promote a country’s development and progress. To what degree do you support or oppose this idea?

The debate over whether governments should allocate greater funding to
science
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education
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 rather than to other disciplines has
garner
Wrong verb form
garnered
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 urgency in an era defined by technological breakthroughs.
While
Linking Words
 I acknowledge that
science
Use synonyms
 is an indispensable factor contributing to national progress, I contend that sidelining other disciplines would hinder rather than accelerate sustainable development. Undoubtedly, prioritising
science
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education
Use synonyms
 yields clear benefits for a nation’s economic and social growth. Scientific research and innovation fuel technological advancements, from renewable energy to biotechnology, which are essential to tackling straining global challenges
such
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 as climate change, pandemics, and resource scarcity.
Moreover
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, states with strong
science
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education
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 systems,
such
Linking Words
 as South Korea and Germany, have successfully transformed themselves into knowledge-based economies, demonstrating the tangible returns of investment in STEM disciplines.
Nevertheless
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, an overemphasis on
science
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 risks procuring a lopsided society. Development is not exclusively determined by technical capacity as it
also
Linking Words
 requires
motal
Correct your spelling
material
, cultural, and social foundations, which the humanities and arts uniquely provide and refine. Without philosophical and ethical frameworks, scientific discoveries can be exploited in harmful
marnners
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manners
, as seen in the misuse of artificial intelligence for deepfakes, identity
thefts
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theft
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, and unethical mass surveillance.
Similarly
Linking Words
, neglecting arts and culture erodes national identity, creativity, and social cohesion - qualities that are vital for a nation’s long-term prosperity. A more pragmatic and grounded solution lies in balanced prioritisation and should be implemented on a
case-by-base
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case-by-case
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 basis. To elaborate, governments must tailor their educational policies to
appopriately
Correct your spelling
appropriately
 fit their distinctive nation’s development stage, where
emergining
Correct your spelling
emerging
 economies may
initially
Linking Words
 channel more resources into STEM,
whereas
Linking Words
better established
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better-established
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 nations should
also
Linking Words
 safeguard investment in humanities and creative industries. In fact, interdisciplinary collaboration,
such
Linking Words
 as combining engineering with design or medicine with psychology, often yields ground-breaking innovations that are both technologically effective and socially relevant. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
science
Use synonyms
education
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 deserves significant government financial support, it should not be championed at the expense of other fields. True national progress emerges not from a singular focus on
science
Use synonyms
 but from a harmonious balance between technical expertise, cultural vitality, and ethical responsibility.

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language
Fix small spelling and grammar to be clear.
language
Use shorter lines and easy words to make it easy to read.
structure
Add more clear link words to show how ideas are tied.
content
Give exact facts or data to back up claims about win in places, like country names or studies.
idea
Clear view and fair balance of ideas.
evidence
Good use of real examples to back points.
structure
Good order of ideas from issue to solution.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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