IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, there are numerous
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 technologies which have been created and developed in response to human needs in various
dimentions
Correct your spelling
dimensions
such
Linking Words
 as communication,
transportation
Use synonyms
, and space.
However
Linking Words
,
Some
Fix capitalization
some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the most significant goal of improving
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
science
supposted
Correct your spelling
is
 to develop
people
Use synonyms
's lives. In my opinion, I totally agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement and I will examine the reasons in
this
Linking Words
 essay. The first significant point is
people
Use synonyms
's health,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 should be the
most
Correct word choice
top
show examples
 priority for every
scientists
Check wording
scientist's
show examples
 focus. Diseases
not
Verb problem
are not
show examples
 only a threat to one person but
also
Linking Words
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 society. If
Correct article usage
the pandamic
show examples
pandamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
spread
Wrong verb form
spreads
show examples
wildly
Replace the word
widely
show examples
to
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 everywhere of communities, many drawbacks could happen
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 every
dimentions
Correct your spelling
dimension
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the spread Covid 2019 occurred in every
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
thoughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 more than a year and that
results
Replace the word
resulted
show examples
 in the loss of many
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
.
People
Use synonyms
 had to stay home and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 consumers for some
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
restuarants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
,
haircutting
Check wording
haircuts
show examples
,
Correct word order
and spa
show examples
spa
Fix the agreement mistake
spas
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 So, many
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 less income and eventually closed down. If
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 could discover
active
Correct article usage
an active
show examples
 vaccine or medicine to cure
this
Linking Words
 disease, there could be several strong
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 to contribute many
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 to society.
Secondly
Linking Words
, technology should be created to serve
Use synonyms
security
Correct article usage
the security
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
, especially
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
transportation
Use synonyms
. When passengers or drivers commute to their destination, their vehicle and other
construction
Fix the agreement mistake
constructions
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
airport
Fix the agreement mistake
airports
show examples
,
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
, and train
station
Fix the agreement mistake
stations
show examples
 should be
install
Verb problem
equipped with
show examples
adcance
Correct your spelling
advanced
 knowledge and technology to
assure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
 the
security
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
. So,
people
Use synonyms
cpuld
Correct your spelling
could
 be sure that they are protected by
cutting edge
Use the right word
cutting-edge
show examples
 technologies to prevent any accident or other danger. If innovations
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
transportation
Use synonyms
 are created to
secure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
security
Use synonyms
, there would be
less accident
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer accidents
show examples
 or less severe
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 could save their money because they may not have to spend a large money to recover the damage or cure their injury.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if there is
less
Correct word choice
a lower
show examples
 accident rate in
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 could encourage trust of
foreigner
Fix the agreement mistake
foreigners
show examples
 to travel and lead to economic growth. In
clonclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I strongly agree that the most important aim of innovative development should prioritise in
Use synonyms
people'lives
Check wording
people's
show examples
 especially health and
security
Use synonyms
 of
transportation
Use synonyms
 and
relevated
Correct your spelling
related
construction
Punctuation problem
construction,
show examples
 because
life
Check wording
the lives
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 and
security
Use synonyms
 of those are the key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
a contry's
show examples
contry's
Correct your spelling
country's
 development.

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task response
State a clear view at the start and keep it through the essay.
coherence cohesion
Put main ideas in order with clear paragraphs. Use simple link words like first, next, and finally.
task response
Give more detail or examples for each idea so the reader sees your point.
language
Fix spelling and grammar. Use short, correct sentences and check your work.
coherence cohesion
End with a strong conclusion that restates your view.
task response
The writer shows a clear view on the topic.
coherence
There is some use of link words and a basic flow of ideas.
structure
Text is split into paragraphs with main ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
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