IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Now it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not be able to pay their debts back. In your opinion, do advantages of credit card outweight the disadventages?

It is considered that getting a
credit
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 card is an easy thing to do.
Although
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 many individuals regard
credit
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cards
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 as an essential part of life, others believe that bank
cards
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 are dangerous. I completely concur that the drawbacks of
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dept
Use the right word
debit
show examples
cards
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 overshadow
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 upsides.
Firstly
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, one of the main arguments in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
favor
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favour
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 of my opinion is that
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dept
Use the right word
debit
show examples
cards
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 can
incourage
Correct your spelling
encourage
 individuals to take
substantial
Correct article usage
a substantial
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 amount of
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dept
Use the right word
debt
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. The reason for
this
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 is that people get
tempting
Replace the word
tempted
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 by the amount of money they can have
while
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 using these
cards
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, so they become hungry for more cash.
This
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 can lead to a significant increase in currency that humans can possess, which can cause
inability
Correct article usage
an inability
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 to pay back
this
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 cash. To give an illustration, American federal bank published a paramount statistic that says: more than 11 million Americans failed to pay
there
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their
show examples
 own
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dept
Use the right word
debt
show examples
 in the
last
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 5 years.
Moreover
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, another significant reason is that human beings can damage
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
credit
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 score if they
failed
Wrong verb form
fail
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 to pay that cash in the proper time. Citizens are subjected to many challenging
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
while
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 having an enormous amount of
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dept
Use the right word
debt
show examples
, which can have a detrimental effect on the person's life in many ways.
This
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 failure can result in
inability
Correct article usage
the inability
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 to rent a house or buy anything from merchants all over the country.
Furthermore
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, losing
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credit
Correct article usage
a credit
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 score can
also
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 prevent citizens from dealing with the banking system, which can
severly
Correct your spelling
severely
 impact their lives. For
examole
Correct your spelling
example
, if someone with a low
credit
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 score decided to buy a car, he might not be able to purchase it.
To conclude
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, even though many human beings think that
credit
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cards
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 are of paramount importance, I completely believe that their downsides overshadow the benefits, and
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dept
Check wording
credit
show examples
cards
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 can cause
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
substantial damage to people.

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task response
Task response: State your view clearly in the first line. Explain your view with two simple reasons. Give a real, easy example and explain what it shows.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence. Use simple links like and, but, because to join ideas. Break long sentences into two.
task response
Clear view on topic with a direct aim.
structure
Has an intro, body, and ending.
content
Uses an example.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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