IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter ● describe the problem with the equipment ●explain how this problem is affecting your work ●say what you want the shop or company to do

Dear Sir, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well and in the best spirits. I am writing
this
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 letter to express my dissatisfaction towards the equipment which I used
while
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 doing
remote
Correct article usage
a remote
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 job. I am Sam, the marketing manager of your Alex company. The Laptop you gave me is not working properly. I do not know what
is the reason
Correct word order
the reason is
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 behind it, but whenever I turn it on,
Linking Words
then
Rephrase
apply
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it
hanged
Verb problem
hangs
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 and
stuck
Verb problem
gets stuck
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to
Change preposition
on
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 the main screen. I just bought a different keyboard and mouse for it, which were ineffective.
This
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 problem is affecting my work. As I have to make files and charts for recording sales of our equipment, customer records and even profit margins as well. But
due to
Linking Words
this
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 problem, I am unable to do that. Sometimes,
this
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 device automatically
shut
Wrong verb form
shuts
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 down
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 because of that, I lose all my data and files. I want you to resolve
this
Linking Words
 issue on a priority basis. You can replace
this
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 device with a new one or allow me to repair it on company expenses. I hope you will find it
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
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 suggestion. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon! Yours sincerely, Sam.

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task response
Be clear on the fault, how it hits your work, and what you want the seller to do. Add any small details you know, like model or order number if you have it.
coherence
Break the text into short, clear ideas and use one idea per paragraph when possible so it is easy to read.
Stay formal and polite. Use
grammar
Fix small grammar and word use, for example 'hangs' not 'hanged' and 'on the screen' not 'to the main screen'.
structure
The letter starts with a polite tone and ends with a respectful closing.
content
The writer shows how the fault stops work and data use.
tone
Polite tone is used in opening and closing.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • malfunctioning
  • error messages
  • troubleshooting
  • productivity
  • affecting
  • equipment
  • brand
  • model
  • repair
  • replacement
  • refund
  • delays
  • critical
  • impacting
  • user manual
What to do next:
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