IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countires, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that
such
Linking Words
 a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree? Smoking has been responsible for numerous diseases
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are
life threatening
Use the right word
life-threatening
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as respiratory illnesses, cancers and heart attacks
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 among young and
middle aged
Use the right word
middle-aged
show examples
 people.
Due to
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this
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, most of the countries have initiated legal protocols to prevent the promotion of smoking through
prohibitting
Correct your spelling
prohibiting
 smoking in public
areas
Use synonyms
. I strongly
agrees
Correct subject-verb agreement
agree
show examples
 that the step is justifiable owing to the
facts
Fix the agreement mistake
fact
show examples
 that the possible health gains it could offer
while
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 preventing indirect
smoking
Punctuation problem
smoking,
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as well as
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to maintain
Verb problem
maintaining
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 the hygienic quality within the communal
areas
Use synonyms
. Smoking has been prohibited in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
common
areas
Use synonyms
 since it prevents
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
indirect smoking through a primary consumer. It has been found that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
indirect smoking is injurious to health than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
direct smoking, because the
vapor
Use the right word
vapour
show examples
 being breathed does not get filtered.
Similarly
Linking Words
, smoking in public
areas
Use synonyms
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 to
spreading
Replace the word
spread
show examples
 of various bacterial and
virus
Replace the word
viral
show examples
flues
Use the right word
flu
show examples
 through the air-conditioning systems.
This
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 is especially bad for children or infants. Owing to
this
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, the banning of smoking in public
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 could be justifiable.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, banning of smoking in public
areas
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 justifiable in order to maintain the air quality and proper hygiene. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people do not appreciate the ordure emanated from cigars and it downgrades the value of that particular location.
This
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 is especially
crutial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 if
Linking Words
that
Fix capitalization
That
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 is a public transport
hubs
Fix the agreement mistake
hub
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 where tourists from different countries arrive.
Definitely
Add a comma
Definitely,
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 it could develop a bad image
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the country and sometimes could cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
long term
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
 economic downturns. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some would not
follow
Verb problem
agree
show examples
 to refrain from smoking in public
areas
Use synonyms
, the statement can be strongly justified
due to
Linking Words
 the
long term
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
 benefits related to health and social well-being.

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structure
Plan a clear flow: intro, 2-3 reasons, and a short conclusion. Use one idea per paragraph.
content
Use simple facts and avoid wrong claims. If you say 'indirect smoking worse', explain properly or skip.
language
Check spelling and simple grammar. Use short, clear sentences.
content
The essay takes a clear position and repeats it in the end.
content
It shows ideas on health and air quality.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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