IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The percentage of part-time workers in each country of the United Kingdom

The given bar graph shows the
rate
Use synonyms
 of part-time employees in four different parts of the UK from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, except for the
workers
Use synonyms
 of Northern Ireland, all the people of other countries have shown a rise in the
rate
Use synonyms
 of their work as time continues.
Also
Linking Words
, Wales and
England
Use synonyms
 have the most active part-time
workers
Use synonyms
 in both eras. The graph clearly depicts that in 1980, nearly 25% of people worked in
England
Use synonyms
 as part-time
workers
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
manpower
Correct article usage
the manpower
show examples
 in
whales
Use the right word
Wales
show examples
 is about 8% higher than that in
England
Use synonyms
. After 30 years,
England
Use synonyms
 shows a greater rise in the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
workers
Use synonyms
 than that in
Whales
Use the right word
Wales
show examples
. But the
overall
Linking Words
 percentage of employees in 2010 still seems to be higher in Wales.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Scotland has the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 of part-time
workers
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 just about 11%
while
Linking Words
 Northern Ireland exceeds more than that in the starting year. As time passes by, the percentage of
workers
Use synonyms
 decreases in Northern Ireland
Linking Words
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 contrast
increases
Fix the agreement mistake
increase
show examples
 twice
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 1980 in Scotland.

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task
Plan before you write. Start with a short intro, then a clear overview, then details for each area. End with a short conclusion.
task
Use clear facts from the graph. Give exact or near numbers for each place and year.
language
Check spell and place names. England, Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland, not 'Whales' or 'manpower'.
coherence
Group the ideas in order: first 1980 data, then 2010 data. Compare and contrast in each sentence.
coherence
Use linking words to show change, e.g., 'in 1980', 'in 2010', 'also', 'but', 'however'.
language
Use simple sentence. Break long lines into two. This helps clarity.
overview
You tell the reader what the chart is about.
data
You give some numbers to show change.
content
You name the four parts of the UK.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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