IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A high salary is more important than job satisfaction. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

In
this
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 contemporary epoch, it is argued that the amount of
salary
Use synonyms
 paid for
work
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 is far more significant than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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job satisfaction.
While
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 I agree with
this
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 view to some extent, I believe that career satisfaction
also
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 plays a vital role
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along
Punctuation problem
, along
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 with the
salary
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.
This
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 essay will examine both sides before presenting my balanced opinion. On the one side
duw
Correct your spelling
due
 to inflation and
increased
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the increased
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 cost of living
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 are forced to think about money before anything else. As per the survey
counducted
Correct your spelling
conducted
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Harvard University, the average cost of living in
metro
Correct article usage
a metro
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 city per person is approximately 1500 to 2000 dollars a month.
Therefore
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, a family of four cannot survive on
basic
Correct article usage
a basic
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 income. Even if both mother and father are earning,
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then
Rephrase
apply
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also they
Correct word order
they also
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 need to manage their finances in order to send their children to top colleges or universities in future.
As a result
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, individuals have to
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
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 between money and contentment, and owing to the standard of living and everyday
expenses
Punctuation problem
expenses,
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 they select money to provide to their loved ones and family members.
On the other hand
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, people are suffering from depression and anxiety because of
tones
Use the right word
tons
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 of
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work load
Use the right word
workloads
show examples
,
whereas
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 if a person likes what
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 do,
then
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 it
becones
Correct your spelling
becomes
 easy to cope with stressful situations.
Moreover
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, if people feel that
this
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 is what they have dreamt of their whole life,
then
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find
Correct pronoun usage
they find
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 ways to
work
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 faster and efficiently
instead
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 of finding excuses.
For instance
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, there are certain professions
such
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 as cooking, construction, medical, and
entertainment
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the entertainment
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 industry, etc., which require commitment, passion and enthusiasm. If
a
Correct article usage
an
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 individual lacks these qualities, they will not be able to
work
Use synonyms
 in these sectors for
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
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 period of time despite the higher
salary
Use synonyms
 as well.
Thus
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, a person will only be able to
work
Use synonyms
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 and with consistency if he/she
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
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 satisfied and interested. In conclusion,
while
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 there are clear arguments in favour of
high
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a high
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salary
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,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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the significance of
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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 of satisfaction should not be overlooked. As per the
above mentioned
Use the right word
above-mentioned
show examples
 discussion, I believe that a balanced approach would be more appropriate. Individuals should try to find employment in the sector they are interested in, and
work
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 on their skills
,
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. This
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this
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continous
Correct your spelling
continuous
 improvement and dedication will eventually lead to
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
.

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task
Be sure your main view is clear at the start and stay in line with it in every paragraph.
coherence
Make ideas fit in a simple chain. Use linking words to show how ideas go from one to next.
language
Check spelling and easy grammar. Use short, plain words.
content
Give real, clear examples that back the point about salary and job joy.
structure
Clear layout with an intro, two body parts and a closing.
stance
The view is balanced, not just one side.
coherence
Some use of link words helps flow in places.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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