IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph compares employment rates in three sectors of the economy in the UK, 2000-2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparions where relevant.

The graph compares employment rates in three sectors of the economy in the UK, 2000-2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparions where relevant.
The line graph illustrates
employment
Correct article usage
the employment
show examples
 rate for three
various
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
sectors to the economy of the UK for a decade from 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the private
sector
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
declined from the highest in
starting
Verb problem
the beginning
show examples
 to the lowest in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2010
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, both other
department
Fix the agreement mistake
departments
show examples
 had
rose
Wrong verb form
risen
show examples
 slightly in the
later
Use the right word
latter
show examples
 stage of the
period
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 had the highest
empoyee
Correct your spelling
employees
 for
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
period
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 had around 38 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2000, and remained constant for
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 two years,
then
Linking Words
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
Correct article usage
a raising
show examples
raising
Use the right word
rising
show examples
 trend and surpassed
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 in 2003, and finished with the highest
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the
period
Use synonyms
 with more than 50.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 surpassed the private
department
Check wording
sector
show examples
 after
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 three years.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
self-empoyment
Correct your spelling
self-employment
 had the lowest rate with below 20 in 2000, after
had
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
flutuating
Correct your spelling
fluctuating
 trend for
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 5 years, after that
climed
Correct your spelling
climbed
 to the second position with 30.
Furtehrmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
 department had
decreasing
Correct article usage
a decreasing
show examples
tend
Use the right word
trend
show examples
 over the
period
Use synonyms
,
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
around 50 and
completed
Verb problem
reaching
show examples
 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lowest rate of employment after
Correct article usage
the deacde
show examples
deacde
Correct your spelling
decade
 in
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
20.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sector, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • economy
  • sectors
  • agriculture
  • manufacturing
  • services
  • trends
  • increases
  • decreases
  • comparison
  • highest
  • lowest
  • economic policies
  • technological advancements
  • global market demands
  • patterns
  • decade
  • significant changes
  • abrupt changes
  • stability
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