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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows a comparison of different kinds of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005.

The chart below shows a comparison of different kinds of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005.
The two pie charts compare the
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 in 1995 and 200
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
while
Linking Words
 the comparison of
energy
Use synonyms
 in Pertro was the second-highest category, the percentage of Gas and Coal
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 almost the same in both years. As the charts show
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
1995
Punctuation problem
1995,
show examples
 two dominant figures of
power
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 were Gas and Coal
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 small differences (29.63% and 29.80%) respectively. The comparison of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 in Petroleum was the second highest trend
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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( with 29.27 per cent).Nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 accounted for just 6.40%,
while
Linking Words
 other
sources
Use synonyms
 contributed the smallest share at 4.90%. By 2005,interestingly, Gas and Coal
sources
Use synonyms
 were still the dominant categories of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
( 30.31 % and 30.80 %).
While
Linking Words
 other
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 and nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 were almost the same with 9.10% and 10.10 %, respectively, petroleum produced 19.55 per cent
power
Use synonyms
 as the second largest producer.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sources, energy, production, power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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