IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two pie charts illustrate employment rate in Great Britain, by occupation and gender in 1992.

The two pie charts illustrate employment rate in Great Britain, by occupation and gender in 1992.
The two pie charts illustrate
employment
Correct article usage
the employment
show examples
 rate in Great Britain, by occupation and gender in 1992.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 the vast majority of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 choose more non-manual jobs as
manegerial
Correct your spelling
managerial
,professional and clerical in comparison with other
average
Fix the agreement mistake
averages
show examples
 of gender.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 both individuals
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 dedicated to
non manual
Use the right word
non-manual
show examples
 jobs,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 males are prone to
work
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 management and professional manual
Linking Words
that is
Verb problem
jobs, which
show examples
 constitute just under one half.
Female
Fix the agreement mistake
Females
show examples
 choose more clerical or related
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of occupation
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is sixty nine
percent
Check wording
cent
show examples
.The most noticeable feature in
women
Check wording
women's
show examples
 rate is manual
work
Use synonyms
,because it
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
only forms 31% in comparison with men.Men
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 of patterns
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 manual
work
Use synonyms
 is more suitable for males.The statistics of
manual
Correct article usage
the manual
show examples
 profession
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 almost half of it.
It is clear that
Linking Words
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the quantity of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
realated
Correct your spelling
related
 to
work
Use synonyms
 as manual
specialist
Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
show examples
,in comparison with
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.It is
obviously
Replace the word
obvious
show examples
understanding
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that the biggest
dinstinction
Correct your spelling
distinction
 between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
sex
Fix the agreement mistake
sexes
show examples
Linking Words
that is
Correct word order
is that
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 are more
business
Use the right word
business-oriented
show examples
 than males in Great Britain
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 that time

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 3 times.
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