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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart compares the export earnings across various categories during 2015 and 2016 in one country. The table depicts the percentage change, showing
difference
Correct article usage
the difference
show examples
 in each category of exports
over
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2015
t0
Correct your spelling
to
 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 of petroleum
products
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest during
this
Linking Words
 period,
while
Linking Words
 textiles
’
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the lowest in 2015.
However
Linking Words
, the value of textiles had significantly increased by 15.24%. Examining the details, engineered goods experienced
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 8.5% growth,
while
Linking Words
 petroleum
products
Use synonyms
 increased by 3%
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 these two categories turned out to almost the same export earnings in 2016, at about 61 to 63
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. In 2015, the value of engineered goods
even didn’t
Correct word order
didn’t even
show examples
 reach 60
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the income
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 accounted for a slight increase, around 32
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
,
promoting
Verb problem
representing
show examples
 by 0.81%.
While
Linking Words
 the
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 of agricultural
products
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 relatively stable from other categories, gems and jewellery decreased by 5.18%. Its income declined from 43
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2015 and ended at 41
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2016.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words products, billion, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • export value
  • economic sector
  • percentage change
  • increment
  • decrement
  • fluctuation
  • trend analysis
  • year-on-year comparison
  • significant growth/decline
  • stagnation
  • market dynamics
  • fiscal repercussions
  • trade balance
  • competitive advantage
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