IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people

Furnishing the young generations with tertiary
education
Use synonyms
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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 an indispensable part in the government’s policies.
However
Linking Words
, most
policy makers
Use the right word
policymakers
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 reckon that it is infeasible and inefficient to offer the vast majority of the youth higher
education
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. From my perspective, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for the following reasons. It proves impossible for a country to provide entry to tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 for all young people. The first reason is the prohibitive tuition fees and the inability to afford them of the majority of youths. College or university undergraduates are supposed to learn from experiments, purchase costly materials during a term, let alone other field trips
if
Punctuation problem
, if
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one
Correct pronoun usage
they
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majors
Correct subject-verb agreement
major
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 in practical fields of study like engineering or
medical
Replace the word
medicine
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. All of these
plus
Punctuation problem
, plus
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 the fact that many students from rural areas find it tough to meet only the annual tuition fees, especially in poverty-stricken countries.
This
Linking Words
 leads to the second
reason
Punctuation problem
reason,
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 in which I mean
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 have other priorities
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as universal
education
Use synonyms
, healthcare
Correct word choice
and, healthcare
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 system to invest in. [do_widget id=custom_html-25] It
also
Linking Words
 does not seem useful for the whole country once the state
wish
Correct subject-verb agreement
wishes
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 to accommodate the youth with higher
education
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is primarily because there is no guarantee that students will become successful and contribute to the well-being of their nation after finishing their
education
Use synonyms
. There are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cases when distinguished graduates fail to secure a decent job and
thus
Linking Words
 become unemployed, exacerbating the burden on society
as a consequence
Linking Words
. Even worse, some are likely to slack off with their studies or even drop out of school as they either take higher
education
Use synonyms
 for granted or find no motivation in furthering their knowledge, given the thought that tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 is
subsidized
Use the right word
subsidised
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 or free of charge. In conclusion, it’s my firm belief that
not only
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people

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task response
Make your view clear in the opening and keep it in the body. Each paragraph should have one main idea that adds to your view.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between parts. Use words like first, also, but, so, as a result to show flow from one idea to the next.
examples
Give one or two strong facts or examples to back each point. Simple facts about cost, time, and work helps your claim.
strength
Your position on the topic is clear.
strength
You show some good ideas about cost and other needs as limits.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • oversaturation
  • disillusionment
  • vocational training
  • resources
  • funding
  • labor market
  • innovation
  • development
  • mixed approach
  • quality education
  • proportion
  • graduate unemployment
  • overqualification
  • credentials
  • higher education
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