IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The map show a change of coastal town, called Petland, from 1950 to 2007

The map show a change of coastal town, called Petland, from 1950 to 2007
The maps illustrate data on how a coastal city, called Petland, developed between the years 1950 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the town became more residential and recreational with the introduction of a range of new facilities and apartments. It is
also
Linking Words
 notable that the place was still divided into 5 areas by the road after 57 years.
Initially
Linking Words
, in 1950, the
area
Use synonyms
 of the town was not
utilized
Use the right word
utilised
show examples
 effectively, thereby including
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 constructions.
Firstly
Linking Words
, to the north, there was an enormous sea.
Industrial
Correct article usage
The industrial
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 was located on the
west
Correct word choice
western
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 part of the
area
Use synonyms
, opposite of which, to the east,
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 could be accessed by
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the bottom right corner
grassland
Punctuation problem
, grassland
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 was sited
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the left one was left empty. There is
also
Linking Words
 a four-way intersection in the middle, connecting all the
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fours
Fix the agreement mistake
four
show examples
 corners and the sea.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2007, the most
devloped
Correct your spelling
developed
 part was north-west
where
Punctuation problem
, where
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industrial
Correct article usage
an industrial
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 was demolished and replaced by a
multi- story
Use the right word
multi-story
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 car
park
Use synonyms
. Adjacent to it was
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 a swimming pool and a
park
Use synonyms
. Yatch marina was
also
Linking Words
 constructed on
sea
Correct article usage
the sea
show examples
, being surrounded by a newly built road.
In addition
Linking Words
, several apartments were introduced on the top-right corner
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 10 more houses were constructed to the south-east.
Linking Words
FInally
Fix capitalization
Finally
show examples
,
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 car
park
Use synonyms
 was knocked down and several malls, alongside a cinema, were opened near the junction.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • coast
  • beach
  • town
  • harbor
  • road
  • house
  • houses
  • shop
  • shops
  • park
  • field
  • farm
  • water
  • map
  • year
  • grow
  • build
  • built
  • change
  • expand
  • develop
  • replace
  • new
  • old
  • more
  • less
  • along
  • near
  • center
  • edge
  • fishing
  • tourists
  • people
  • area
  • land
  • sea
  • bay
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