IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Nowadays, managers and team leaders in many organizations and companies are much younger compared to the past. What are the reasons for it? Is it positive or negative development?

The reason why managers
and
Correct word choice
apply
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and team leaders are much younger is because technology has been changing so fast in recent decades. Young people are quick to adapt,
while
Linking Words
 older ones are relatively slow to catch up on new tech. I personally was one of
some
Correct determiner usage
the
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 younger
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
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 in my past organisations. Younger people are working very fast and
able
Verb problem
are able
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 to catch a lot of information. Working in a fast-paced environment
also
Linking Words
thrives
Verb problem
drives
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 each individual to make the most of their capacity
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
best-shelves
Replace the word
best ability
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.
While
Linking Words
 it comes with positive development where jobs can be done faster,
younger
Correct article usage
a younger
show examples
 manager
also
Linking Words
 comes with some issues
such
Linking Words
 as ego-driven decisions, lack of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
, and many things that can only be achieved if you work for years. In conclusion, having
younger
Correct article usage
a younger
show examples
 manager has its own positive and negative impacts.
Therefore
Linking Words
, you have to decide based on your
organization
Use the right word
organisation's
show examples
 needs. Do you want to walk faster or do you
lean
Verb problem
tend
show examples
 to stabilise the growth
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Youngster
Correct article usage
A youngster
show examples
 can walk faster
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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lack
Correct subject-verb agreement
lacks
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
experience
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 vice versa.

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content
Task response: The essay talks on why young managers are common and says it is good and bad. It does not show all view and not end with a clear view. Add a clear line to say if it is good or bad for work and give more proof.
structure
Coherence and cohesion: Use linking to show how each idea is set. Have a clear start, middle and end. Put similar ideas together and use simple words like also, but, so, for example.
language
Grammar and style: There are many mistakes like 'and and' and 'best-shelves'. Fix them. Use simple and exact phrases. Check verb form and noun use.
content
Idea is clear that younger leaders are due to fast tech change.
content
There is a fair view of both good and bad points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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