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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph below shows population projections (millions) for German citizens over 65 from 2020 to 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features making comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows population projections (millions) for German citizens over 65 from 2020 to 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features making comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of projections for German
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 above 65 from 2020 to 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, it’s clear that
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
projection in
German
Replace the word
Germany
show examples
 showed the most significant increase over 65
citizen
Check wording
years old
show examples
 in 2020,
while
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
over 80 individuals
Correct word order
individuals over 80
show examples
 started from 6
million
Use synonyms
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
decreased slightly. Meanwhile, some
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
 experienced
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
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 trend over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time. At the beginning of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
,
projection
Fix the agreement mistake
projections
show examples
 over 80
people
Use synonyms
 recorded at 6
people
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it rose minimally until 2023;
subsequently
Linking Words
 climbed slowly to reach 10
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, between
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
65
Change preposition
of 65
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-79 years old recorded approximately 13
million
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
then
Linking Words
, it went up stood roughly 16
million
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 it
faced repaid
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fell reaching 14
million
Use synonyms
 in 2025.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
projection
Correct article usage
the projection
show examples
 over 65 years old started at 15
million
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was the most significant
of
Check wording
portion of
show examples
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 throughout the period. In 2035 peaked at 23
million
Use synonyms
 until it constant
steadily
Replace the word
steady
show examples
 for 7.5 years,
then
Linking Words
 it declined recorded 22
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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