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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table shows the cost of water in 5 cities in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The table shows the cost of water in 5 cities in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
The table details the
price
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 of water across five cities in Australia. Looking from the
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that
Use synonyms
perth
Fix capitalization
Perth
show examples
 had by far the highest average bill per household.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
price
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 of
sydney's
Fix capitalization
Sydney's
show examples
usage
Use synonyms
charge
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 per kiloliter (up to 125
KL
Use synonyms
) is the dominant,
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perth
Fix capitalization
Perth
show examples
 demonstrates the highest
cost
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 in the sector of
usage
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charge
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 (over 125
KL
Use synonyms
). As for average bill per household, all cities
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 more than 300
dolloars
Correct your spelling
dollars
, with the exception of Melbourne, which is the lowest
cost
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. In fact, the highest
cost
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, which comes from
Perth
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, was 332 dollars. Sydney had the
second highest
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second-highest
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cost
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 with 319 dollars, followed by Adelaide($312), Brisbane($310), and Melbourne($253), which is the lowest
cost
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 among
five
Correct article usage
the five
show examples
 categories. In detail of
usage
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charge
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,
sydney
Fix capitalization
Sydney
show examples
 shows the highest
cost
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 of
usage
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charge
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 per kiloliter(up to 125
KL
Use synonyms
) with $0.98, remaining unchanged in over 125
KL
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,
whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
perth
Fix capitalization
Perth
show examples
 is the dominant city with $1.50 in
usage
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charge
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 (over 125KL), showing the lowest figure in $0.42 up to 125
KlL
Correct your spelling
KL
. Adelaide and
Brisabane
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
demonstrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrate
show examples
 the trend that the
price
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 of over 125
KL
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 is more than up to 125KL, from $0.42 to $1.oo, $0.81 to $0.84.
Finally
Linking Words
,
melbourne
Fix capitalization
Melbourne
show examples
 had the same
price
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with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 $0.78 between up to 125
KL
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 and over 125
KL
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words price, perth, usage, charge, kl, cost with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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