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Writing Samples
Band 7

You should spend around 20 minutes on this task. The graphs below show four categories of citrus fruits and the top three countries to which these were exported (in thousand tonnes) in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend around 20 minutes on this task. The graphs below show four categories of citrus fruits and the top three countries to which these were exported (in thousand tonnes) in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar charts
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 information about the exports of four kinds of citrus
fruits
Use synonyms
 in 2010, measured in
thousand
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
, and the top three countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, oranges were the most exported fruit,
while
Linking Words
 grapefruits and other citrus
fruits
Use synonyms
 were exported less. South
Africa
Use synonyms
 and
Mexico
Use synonyms
 played important roles in these exports. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of oranges, South
Africa
Use synonyms
 exported the largest amount, around 1100
thousand
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
. Egypt was second with about 900,
while
Linking Words
 the United States was lowest,
nearly
Change preposition
with nearly
show examples
 700. For lemons, Turkey had the biggest number with 500
thousand
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Mexico
Use synonyms
 followed closely at about 450. Argentina exported much less, only around 250. Looking at grapefruits, South
Africa
Use synonyms
 and the United States both exported around 220
thousand
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
, which were higher than Turkey at about 180. For other citrus
fruits
Use synonyms
,
Mexico
Use synonyms
 dominated strongly, exporting nearly 450
thousand
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Israel and the United States were under 100.
This
Linking Words
 data shows that different countries were strong in different
fruits
Use synonyms
, but
Mexico
Use synonyms
 and South
Africa
Use synonyms
 were leading in several categories.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fruits, thousand, tonnes, africa, mexico with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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