Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children's development than playing computer games. What extent do you agree or disagree.

In the contemporary era, there is a heated debate regarding whether outdoor
activities
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are more beneficial for
children
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than indoor computer-based
games
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. Some individuals strongly believe that outdoor
activities
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play a vital role in
children
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’s development,
while
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others argue in
favor
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favour
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of indoor
activities
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. I firmly agree with the former view, and the following paragraphs will highlight my perspective, leading to a logical conclusion.
To begin
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with, outdoor
games
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greatly contribute to
children
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’s physical and mental well-being. When kids engage in outdoor play, they stay healthy, active, and energetic throughout the day.
Moreover
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, outdoor
activities
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provide opportunities for
children
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to make new friends,
socialize
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socialise
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, and learn valuable life skills
such
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as teamwork, cooperation, and discipline.
For instance
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, many schools encourage students to participate in outdoor sports by including dedicated periods for
games
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. Through
such
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activities
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,
children
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not only build friendships but
also
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develop essential social and ethical values.
On the other hand
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, spending excessive time on indoor computer or mobile
games
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can be harmful to
children
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. Online platforms often expose them to addictive habits, reduced physical activity, and limited social interaction.
As a result
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,
children
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who
prioritize
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prioritise
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indoor
games
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may struggle with creativity and cognitive development compared to those who engage in outdoor play.
In contrast
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, outdoor
games
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enhance critical thinking, strengthen the brain, and nurture a more powerful and active mind. In a nutshell,
while
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both types of
activities
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have their place, outdoor
games
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are significantly more beneficial for
children
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’s
overall
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growth. They not only promote good health but
also
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foster social and intellectual development—factors that indoor computer
games
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cannot provide.
Therefore
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, outdoor
activities
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should be encouraged for the holistic development of today’s youth.

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task
Add more specific examples from real life or studies to back claims.
language
Use shorter, simpler sentences. Break long lines into smaller ones.
task
Clear view is stated in intro and kept through essay.
coherence
Good linking words show the flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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