IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In my perspective, female and male students should be given fairly the same educational options in every subjects. However, I do not agree with the idea of admitting equal percentage of each gender in every university subject.

In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective, female and male
students
Use synonyms
 should be given fairly the same educational options in every
subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, I do not agree with the idea of admitting
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
 percentage of each
gender
Use synonyms
 in every
university
Use synonyms
 subject. Accepting equally two different genders to study on all degree courses is impractical. The rate of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 on any course
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
 on the applications that the institution obtains. Even
university
Use synonyms
select
Correct subject-verb agreement
selects
show examples
 courses with
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
 number of males and females,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 would not be enough applicants of each
gender
Use synonyms
. In real life,
students
Use synonyms
 are
settled on more
Correct word order
more settled on
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one subject than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
, and it is
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 practical option to be perfectly to goal
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 equal percentages. A good example is
childcare
Correct word choice
that childcare
show examples
 assistants tend to choose more female applicants, and it would be utopian to fill these
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 if fifty per cent of the places needed to go to males. I strongly believe that it would be unfair to gain admission to
university
Use synonyms
 courses
on
Verb problem
based on
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
. Universities should continue to approve the best candidates for each course
according to
Linking Words
 their knowledge
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
practiced
Replace the word
practical
show examples
 subjects. In
this
Linking Words
 way, both men and women have the same possibilities, and applicants know that they will be powerful in the profession that they have chosen.
For example
Linking Words
, if
female
Correct article usage
a female
show examples
 student
good
Verb problem
is good
show examples
 at engineering, it is perfectly wrong to reject her in favour of a male student with lower knowledge. In conclusion, the gain of
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 should be meritocratic, and it would be both unrealistic and unfair to select
students
Use synonyms
 based on
gender
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Be clear from the start. State your main view in one short line, then give 2 or 3 reasons that support it.
coherence
Organize ideas in a simple order. Use a new paragraph for each idea and use linking words to show how they are connected.
coherence
Make each idea full. Explain why it matters and try to give a real example that fits well.
language
Use easy words. Check for small errors in spelling and grammar so the meaning is clear.
content
The essay shows a clear view on the issue.
content
There are examples used to show the point.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion saved in the text.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: