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Writing Samples
Band 1

Rice production in four Asian countries, 2015-2018.

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Introduction
The bar chart illustrates the amount of rice production by four Asian nations (Thailand, Vietnam,
Indonesia
Use synonyms
, and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
) between 2015 and 2018. The figures are given in
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
Overall
Linking Words
, rice production in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 has shown a clear upward trend,
while
Linking Words
 other countries have experienced a decline.
Body paragraph 2
Indonesia
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 stood at 400
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2015
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure increased gradually to 700
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2018. Thailand
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 accounted for 800
tons
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of the period, peaked at more than 900
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 in
2017
Punctuation problem
2017,
show examples
 before declining dramatically to 700
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2018.
Body paragraph 3
Conversely
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the Philippine’s
show examples
Philippine’s
Check wording
Philippines’
show examples
 production
falling
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 from 400
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2016 to only 100
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 two years later.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Vietnam
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 out at 500
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
this
Linking Words
 number fell significantly to reach roughly 200
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
One notable point is that in
2018
Punctuation problem
2018,
show examples
 Vietnam and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 produced equal amounts of rice.

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task
Task response has some good parts, but many facts and the unit are not the same all the way. Check the year and country data and use the same unit (million tons) every time.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion need clear order. Group ideas well, use a line to move from one idea to the next, and use linking words.
grammar
Check language: use correct names and spellings (Philippines), correct form (million tons), and correct plural.
content
The essay tries to state the main trend at the start and end.
structure
It uses numbers from the chart to back a view of the data.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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