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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the percentages of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014.

The charts below show the percentages of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014.
The bar charts present the
proporation
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of people who
volunteer
Punctuation problem
volunteer,
show examples
catagorize
Correct your spelling
categorised
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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by their
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
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in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 two different years
2008
Punctuation problem
, 2008
show examples
 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the trends vary across the two years between the five groups ,
desbit
Correct your spelling
despite
 that, the health care workers
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 trend in both
chart
Fix the agreement mistake
charts
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
two of
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 three largest zones in 2008 experienced a slight
increased
Replace the word
increase
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 in the other year, sports with 15% in 2004 to 25% in 2014 and environmental at 21%
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 increased to 29% in 2014.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
 the which shows the opposite by dropping from 24% to 17%. Health care was
stell
Use the right word
still
show examples
 the lowest with 7% in 2008 and
unnoticeable
Correct article usage
an unnoticeable
show examples
 change (8%) in 2014. remains stable

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • proportion
  • volunteer
  • organizations
  • data
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • notable
  • significant
  • compare
  • contrast
  • analyze
  • highlight
  • observe
  • economic
  • societal
  • changes
  • overall
  • key observations
  • notably
  • fluctuate
  • stable
  • marked
  • growth
  • decline
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