IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of part-time workers in each country of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of part-time workers in each country of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph provides information regarding the percentage of
part
Use synonyms
-
time
Use synonyms
owrkers
Correct your spelling
workers
 in each
country
Use synonyms
 of the United Kingdom in the
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1980 and 2010.
While
Linking Words
 the vertical axis shows the percentage of
workers
Use synonyms
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 horizontal axis shows the
country
Use synonyms
 in the United Kingdom In 1980, England had about 25%
workers
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 working
Use synonyms
part
Use the right word
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
. The percentage of
Use synonyms
part
Use the right word
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
workers
Use synonyms
 has only grown a short amount across 30 years by 5% with 30% being
Use synonyms
part
Use the right word
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
workers
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
. Wales
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 shares a similar story with
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 small jump in partial
employment
Use synonyms
. It had 30% employees working
Use synonyms
part
Use the right word
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1980 and 35% in the
year
Use synonyms
 2010. Northern Ireland is the only
country
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 bar graph which shows a downward trend of partial
employment
Use synonyms
. There is a 3% decrease in the
employment
Use synonyms
 rate
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 the
year
Use synonyms
 1980 had 15%
part
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
workers
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 in
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
 the data shows it is approximately 12%. Scotland had a big leap forward in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
part
Use the right word
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
employment
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 the number increasing by 10%
in
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
30
Correct word choice
past 30
show examples
 years. Where Scotland had a meagre 10% of its
workers
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 working partially. The number soared to 20% in the
year
Use synonyms
 2010. With the help of the bar
graph
Add a comma
graph,
show examples
 it is pretty clear
Wales
Correct word choice
that Wales
show examples
 held the highest number of
Use synonyms
part
Use the right word
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 employees from 1980 to
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
 with Northern Ireland being the only
country
Use synonyms
 which reduced the size of partially employed employees.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 90%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words country, year, workers, part, time, employment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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