IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph below shows the price of banana in Japan, France, Germany and the USA from 1994 to 2004.

The line graph below shows the price of banana in Japan, France, Germany and the USA from 1994 to 2004.
The graph compares four regions in terms of
Use synonyms
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
 between 1994 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the four regions experienced different trends in the time period.
While
Linking Words
 the wheat cost
Use synonyms
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
Bananas
show examples
 in Japan and France
countries
Check wording
apply
show examples
rose with fluctuations, the cost in
German
Replace the word
Germany
show examples
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 was still stable over
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
time
Check wording
apply
show examples
. The line graph shows that the
Japan
Replace the word
Japanese
show examples
 wheat
price
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
figures
Check wording
apply
show examples
started at 2.00
dollars
Use synonyms
 per kilogram. In 1996, the percentage back to the first statistic , and
to
Rephrase
then to
show examples
1999
Punctuation problem
1999,
show examples
 followed by a small increase to around 2000 and 2004
years
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2001, Japan showed the lowest percentage over time. Regarding France and
German
Use the right word
Germany's banana
show examples
banana
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 in
in
Correct your spelling
1994
, 1994
shipped
Verb problem
were
show examples
 approximately 1.50
dollars
Use synonyms
 per kilogram and
stayed
Verb problem
remained
show examples
stably
Replace the word
stable
show examples
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1999
year
Check wording
apply
show examples
. These two countries illustrate the lowest percentage in 2000 years, which
constitute
Correct subject-verb agreement
constitutes
show examples
 about 1.00
dollars
Use synonyms
 per kilogram.
Linking Words
Then
Punctuation problem
Then,
show examples
 France showed
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
show examples
 trend from 2000 to 2004.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the wheat
price
Use synonyms
 of bananas from the USA
repid
Correct your spelling
rapid
 changes between 1994 and 1998. The cost of
Use synonyms
banana
Correct article usage
a banana
show examples
 was
stability
Replace the word
stable
show examples
 for 5 years, which constituted 1.00
dollars
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words price, banana, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: