IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
THE PIE AND LINE CHARTS PROVIDE KEY INFORMATION ABOUT TWO DIFFERENT TYPES OF INFORMATION ON
CRIME
Use synonyms
, IN THE UNITED KINGDOM ONE YEAR AGO. THE UNITS ARE MEASURED IN NUMBER OF
CRIMES
Use synonyms
(TENS OF THOUSANDS)
AS WELL AS
Linking Words
 PERCENTAGES.
ACCORDING TO
Linking Words
 THE LINE CHART THAT ILLUSTRATE THE RELATION BETWEEN
AGE
Use synonyms
 AND
CRIME
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,
LAST
Linking Words
 YEAR. AT
AGE
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12
Punctuation problem
12,
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 LESS THAN 10
CRIMES
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 HAD HAPPENED
THEN
Linking Words
 IT SUDDENLY JUMPED TO 70
CRIMES
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.
WHILE
Linking Words
 AT
AGE
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 20 THE FIGURE OF THE
CRIMES
Use synonyms
 REACHED
TO
Change preposition
apply
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THE PEAK BY 80 ,BEFORE DECREASING
Change preposition
TO
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28 TO 20
CRIMES
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. THE PORTION OF THE
CRIMES
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 EXPERIENCED A FLUCTUATION
UNTILOLD
Correct your spelling
UNTIL
Use synonyms
AGE
Correct article usage
THE AGE
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(60
)
Punctuation problem
apply
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. IN TERMS OF THE SECOND GRAPH, WHICH SHOWS VARIOUS TYPES OF
CRIME
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 THAT HAPPENED
LAST
Linking Words
 YEAR.
FIRSTLY
Linking Words
, THE HIGHEST PROPORTION FOR VIOLENT
CRIME
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 ,WHICH COUNTED FOR 46% , FOLLOWED BY PROPERTY
CRIME
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 WITH 23%. THE REST
LAST
Linking Words
 TWO TYPES OF FELONY ARE
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 DRUG AND PUBLIC ORDER
CASE
Fix the agreement mistake
CASES
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 BY 22% AND 9% RESPECTIVELY.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, crimes, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line
  • graph
  • trend
  • rise
  • fall
  • increase
  • decrease
  • go up
  • go down
  • climb
  • drop
  • peak
  • highest
  • lowest
  • month
  • year
  • total
  • crime
  • UK
  • last year
  • pattern
  • fluctuate
  • vary
  • steady
  • stable
  • sharp
  • gradual
  • gradually
  • sharply
  • month by month
  • pie
  • share
  • portion
  • part
  • type
  • category
  • crime type
  • big
  • small
  • percentage
  • proportion
  • fraction
  • around
  • more
  • less
  • equal
  • bigger
  • smaller
  • higher
  • lower
  • similar
  • different
  • compared with
  • in comparison
  • and
  • but
  • however
  • although
  • therefore
  • so
  • then
  • finally
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