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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the distribution of employment among agriculture, industries and services in three countries in 1980 and projected distribution in 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the distribution of employment among agriculture, industries and services in three countries in 1980 and projected distribution in 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar charts illustrate the proportion of employment in
agriculture
Use synonyms
,
industry
Use synonyms
 and services in three different countries (A, B and C) in 1980 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
,
agriculture
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
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sharply declined in all three nations,
then
Linking Words
 the
service
Use synonyms
 is increased in countries A and C.
Industry
Use synonyms
 shows
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mixed
trends
Punctuation problem
trends,
show examples
soared
Wrong verb form
soaring
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 in
Country
Use synonyms
 B but
failed
Wrong verb form
failing
show examples
 in the others. In
country
Use synonyms
 A,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 was the smallest
sector
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, it was slight decline
around
Change preposition
from around
show examples
 20% to 15% from 1980 to 2020.
Industry
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 went down, from nearly 45% to about 35%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
service
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
 grew from around 35% to almost half of the total employment. In
country
Use synonyms
 B,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 was still the biggest
sector
Use synonyms
, but it dropped sharply from about 70% to 50%.
Industry
Use synonyms
 uplift gradually from 10% to 30%,
while
Linking Words
 the
service
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
 stayed almost the same at about 20%. In
country
Use synonyms
 C, the
service
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
 was the most important in both years. It was tedious
raised
Verb problem
to raise
show examples
 from around 70% to 80%.
Industry
Use synonyms
 fell from around 25% to 15%, and
agriculture
Use synonyms
 was very small in both years, decreasing slightly from around 8% to 5%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words agriculture, industry, service, country, sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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