IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Private car ownership has been increasing over the past few decades. This has given ordinary people greater mobility, but has also led to concerns about traffic congestion and air pollution. Do the advantages of private car ownership outweigh the disadvantages?

The prevalence of the personal automobile has become a cornerstone of modern life.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 driving personal
cars
Use synonyms
 helps to make individual lives easier , it
also
Linking Words
 causes more congestion and environmental issues.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives and demonstrate why it is more advantageous and its effects on the economy. On the one hand, automobiles are admittedly one of the major contributors to traffic jams and air pollution around the world.Indeed, they consume time for people who
usage
Replace the word
use
show examples
 them to arrive at work or finish their daily tasks. The distance by public transport can take around 30 to 40 minutes
due to
Linking Words
 repeated standing ,
by
Correct word choice
and by
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Punctuation problem
car,
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 it takes only 10 minutes to arrive at the destination.
For example
Linking Words
, Japan has banned using
cars
Use synonyms
 in the centre of its capital since 2000 , and people must exercise
Change preposition
by bikes
show examples
bikes
Fix the agreement mistake
bike
show examples
 only so
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 has led to an increase in the quality of air by more than 70 per cent.
Also
Linking Words
 , our world now has many sources of energy which are friendly to the environment
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 The problems caused by using
cars
Use synonyms
 are not solved.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the prudence can benefit from individuals who
handling
Wrong verb form
handle
show examples
 their own auto.
In other words
Linking Words
, owning a
car
Use synonyms
 provides them the ability to travel a long route without the commitment of public transport.
For instance
Linking Words
, Saudi Arabia is a huge country where you can not move without owning a
car
Use synonyms
 ,
this
Linking Words
 need generates many opportunities for the austerity of country .As the demand for buying motor vehicles will increase and their citizens will
usage
Replace the word
use
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to carry tourists from one place to another. People who have
cars
Use synonyms
 can live outside the centre of the town where rents for houses are cheaper than in the capital. In conclusion , despite its drawbacks of environmental effects and traffic problems , private automobiles have
good
Correct word choice
a positive
show examples
results
Check wording
impact
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 on the economy. TO prove that, a new
car
Use synonyms
 which
works
Verb problem
runs
show examples
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 electricity should be built and brought
out in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the market.

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task
Plan your essay with a clear view. Start with a sentence that shows your main point and then give two or three solid reasons.
cohesion
Use linking words right. Use 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example' to connect ideas so the flow is easy.
style
Keep sentences short and clear. Use simple words and avoid long, hard to read sentences.
content
Check facts and use facts you can prove. Avoid wrong claims or odd phrases.
structure
End with a short, strong conclusion that restates your view.
task response
The essay shows a balance of sides.
coherence
There is a clear intro and a closing paragraph.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mobility
  • independence
  • economic benefits
  • automotive industry
  • convenience
  • commuting
  • leisure activities
  • social benefits
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • global warming
  • traffic congestion
  • urban areas
  • public infrastructure
  • maintenance
  • road safety
What to do next:
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