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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. (Anelya1) Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

The chart below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. (Anelya1) Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
The three pie charts illustrate the average proportions of
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat, and added
sugar
Use synonyms
 in typical meals, which may be unhealthy if eaten too much by people.
Overall
Linking Words
, dinner contains the highest percentage of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat,
while
Linking Words
 snacks account for the largest share of added
sugar
Use synonyms
 among other types. Breakfast shows a similar result of
Sodium
Use synonyms
 with just 14%, Saturated fat around 16%
as well as
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 added
sugar
Use synonyms
 at approximately 16%, it had the lowest result among all types.
In contrast
Linking Words
, dinner contains high figures of nutrients among other types, with
sodium
Use synonyms
 nearly half, saturated fat approximately 37% and the added
sugar
Use synonyms
 with just 23%. Snacks recorded nearly three-quarters of
sugar
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is the highest type contains
sugar
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 it contains 21% of saturated fat,
as well as
Linking Words
 a quarter of
sodium
Use synonyms
. Lunch had low
sugar
Use synonyms
 , about 19%, Saturated fat around 26% and 29% of
sodium
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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