IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the Summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

In
this
Linking Words
digitalized
Change the spelling
digitalised
show examples
 era, in every country where
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 announce
holidays
Use synonyms
 for
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in every
education
Use synonyms
 sector.
Vecation
Correct your spelling
Vacation
 is held by
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 department in
Use synonyms
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
show examples
 than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 seasons like autumn,spring and winter.
Although
Linking Words
 temperature percentage is considered different in every country but in most of them
climate
Correct article usage
the climate
show examples
is rise
Wrong verb form
rises
show examples
 more
particulary
Correct your spelling
particularly
 in
summer
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
show examples
 survey, world news
claim
Correct subject-verb agreement
claims
show examples
 that in more than seventy countries temperature almost
rise
Wrong verb form
risen
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
43
Rephrase
almost 43
show examples
C
Correct your spelling
°C
. So
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
 it can help students to be safe from
varic
Correct your spelling
varicella
 disease.
Linking Words
Moreover
Punctuation problem
Moreover,
show examples
 it
carn
Use the right word
can
show examples
 be enjoyable with families through different ways
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
trip
Correct article usage
a trip
show examples
 to amazing
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 like
west
Replace the word
Western
show examples
 Italy. northern areas ot Pakistan and east of
Newziland
Correct your spelling
New Zealand
.
According to
Linking Words
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 statement, many sectors of
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 department
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
School
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
, colleges and
universities
Punctuation problem
universities,
show examples
 remain
close
Correct word choice
closed
show examples
 in
summer
Use synonyms
 for more than two months or three.
Particulary
Correct your spelling
Particularly
 these
holidays
Use synonyms
 for students to enjoy their life with family.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Punctuation problem
Furthermore,
show examples
 during
Use synonyms
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
show examples
children
Punctuation problem
, children
show examples
 like to travel around the world because
this
Linking Words
 time is for rest and
enjoy
Replace the word
enjoyment
show examples
 for them.
these
Fix capitalization
These
show examples
holidays
Use synonyms
 play
pivotal
Correct article usage
a pivotal
show examples
 role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their mental health
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fundamental right. In recent years,
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 claim that enjoying time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
holidays
Use synonyms
 with family
brodens
Correct your spelling
broadens
 their mind as well physical state of students.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
 it is because
dangerous
Correct article usage
the dangerous
show examples
 rays of
summer
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
cause
Correct article usage
the cause
show examples
 of various
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
 on
humen
Correct your spelling
human
 skin
Punctuation problem
, specially
show examples
specially
Use the right word
especially
show examples
 for
yougers
Check wording
the youth
show examples
. So
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 of every country decided to do what they
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 to save
humen
Correct your spelling
human
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 from
this
Linking Words
choas
Correct your spelling
chaos
 in
summer
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
 year
atjuly
Punctuation problem
, atjuly
show examples
 many cases
was reported
Verb problem
apply
show examples
of skin cancer
in
Verb problem
were reported in
show examples
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
who lied
Verb problem
aged
show examples
 between age from 15 to 18 by
Punjab
Correct article usage
the Punjab
show examples
college sialkot
Fix capitalization
College Sialkot
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is situated in Pakistan.
Linking Words
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 some people believe that
this
Linking Words
 time is efficient to alleviate
waves
Correct article usage
the waves
show examples
 of
summer
Use synonyms
 climate,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
arque
Correct your spelling
argue
 that to reduce
vecation
Correct your spelling
vacation
. Because they
considerd
Correct your spelling
considered
 that it leads
frequently their children
Correct word order
their children frequently
show examples
 towards
lazziness
Correct your spelling
laziness
. So
Correct article usage
the governnent
show examples
governnent
Correct your spelling
government
 should take action against
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 departments to reduce
holidays
Use synonyms
. Some parents are strict
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their children because they want to see them
to be
Verb problem
become
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proficient
person
Check wording
apply
show examples
in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your answer. A clear start, middle and end. Say your view in the first paragraph and sum it up in the last.
structure
Keep one idea in one part. Do not mix many ideas in one paragraph.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas fit. Like 'also', 'but', 'for example', 'however'.
language
Check word use and spell. Use plain words.
content
Give true and easy examples. Do not copy places that are not real.
task
Stick to the task. Do not talk too much on one idea or go off topic.
content
The topic is set and the writer shows some view on why long time off work or school can help.
content
There are some places or examples given, which can be used to build points.
language
The effort to argue for and against holidays is clear, and the essay keeps to the main idea.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • long holidays
  • short holidays
  • summer break
  • rest
  • health
  • family time
  • travel
  • reading
  • learning
  • memory
  • gaps
  • exams
  • curriculum
  • planning
  • cost
  • money
  • parent
  • teacher
  • student
  • school
  • summer school
  • enrichment
  • activities
  • schedule
  • fairness
  • access
  • inequality
  • support
  • spare time
  • staggered holidays
  • intersession
  • balance
  • policy
  • example
What to do next:
Look at other essays: