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Writing Samples
Band 3

The table below shows the results of a survey that asked 6800 Scottish adults (aged 16 years and over) whether they had taken part in different cultural activities in the past 12 months.

The table below shows the results of a survey that asked 6800 Scottish adults (aged 16 years and over) whether they had taken part in different cultural activities in the past 12 months.
The provided table demonstrates the outcomes of a questionnaire that involved 6800
scttish
Correct your spelling
Scottish
 adults aged 16 years or
Correct word choice
older
show examples
bigger
Punctuation problem
bigger,
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 whether they had
involved
Verb problem
been involved
show examples
 in various cultural
activities
Use synonyms
 in the past 12 months.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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participation in
computer
Use the right word
computer-based
show examples
 based had the lowest members compared to other
activities
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the majority participated in performance
Linking Words
such
Check wording
activities such
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 as dancing, singing, and acting
except
Punctuation problem
, except
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 among people
bigger
Correct word choice
older
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 than 45 years. In terms of physical
activities
Use synonyms
, the performance was the lowest in
45
Correct article usage
the 45
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-74 group with only 17%.
However
Linking Words
, young people constituted 35%.
In addition
Linking Words
, undertaking crafts ranged from 11% to 22%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
visual
Correct article usage
the visual
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 arts were one of the most common
activities
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 year.
it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
 accounted for 30% As far as writing and
computer
Use the right word
computer-based
show examples
 based are concerned, both of these
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 were the lowest.
they
Fix capitalization
They
show examples
 ranged from 5 to 17 and 5 to 10
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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