IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Directors of large organisations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees. Some people think it is necessary, but others believe that it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, working as a director in an organizations with higher
status
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 can get people a financial growth more than working as an simple employee, it led to some consider that as a necessary,
while
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 others claim its unfairness. In my opinion, all
workers
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 has a right to get a balanced salary by not considering its
status
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 in
job
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, but by its effective working, though i discuss both opinions and give my own perspectives. Fisrt and foremost, those who
work
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 as directors claiming that their
job
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 requires more responsibilities and focus compared to the
job
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 of a ordinary employee, since it is the one of the most crucial facts about their
status
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 of working.
For example
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, workplaces in Japan as a director of a company takes its atmosphere seriously than some in other countries, because its not only a responsible
job
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, but hard in some cases.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
workers
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 as an employee can be difficult as phisicly and morally, apart from its responsibilities
workers
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 can get exhausted more than its directors,
due to
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 its lack of time for spare time for themselves to relax as an example. The more they have to
work
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 in quantities of details, the more they suffer from getting tired but not getting enough salary for covering its issue.
Last
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 but not least, from my point of view, the state should take a look at those
workers
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 doing its duty effectively and proffecionally no matter their
status
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 of
work
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. Since all
jobs
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 require mostly time
as well as
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 hard-working, responsibilities for
work
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 is not an exception. Hovewer, working in an low statused
jobs
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 should not be an exception in its financial independence. In conclusion, some belive that directors of higher statused
jobs
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 should get more salary than those who
work
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 in an lower statused
jobs
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,
however
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 everyone should get what they deserve by considering its growth in
work
Use synonyms

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organization
Plan before you write. Make an intro with a clear view, two body paragraphs with one main idea each, then a short conclusion.
language
Use simple grammar and clear links to show how ideas go from one to another.
task response
State your opinion clearly in the intro or final line and stick to it.
content
Give one or two real, small examples to back up your point and explain them.
content
The essay tries to talk about both sides of the issue.
content
The main idea of pay and fairness is in the text.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • organizational hierarchy
  • strategic planning
  • risk management
  • salary disparity
  • executive compensation
  • income inequality
  • employee morale
  • corporate governance
  • fiscal responsibility
  • salary redistribution
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