The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females aged 18-20 in a city who participated in a various activities in a month in 2015

The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females aged 18-20 in a city who participated in a various activities in a month in 2015
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females aged 18-20 in a city who participated in a various activities in a month in 2015
This
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bar chart illustrates the proportion of people of different genders aged 18-20 in 2015, who were involved in various kinds of sports.
Overall
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, given information shows that teenage
men
Use synonyms
are
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
likely, more encouraged by sports than women of the same age.
Firstly
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, the chart shows that the majority of males were playing football.
Moreover
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,
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
part of
men
Use synonyms
would prefer sport that includes
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teamwork rather than single-player ones. Despite
this
Linking Words
fact, cycling was even a little bit more popular among males than basketball.
Secondly
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, cycling and swimming were the most preferred by women in 2015
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
each category of these sports involved nearly 37% of females.
Additionally
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, for both
genders
Add a comma
genders,
show examples
the least chosen type of activity was hockey,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
narrowly reached 4% and 14% rates for females and males, respectively. In conclusion, as the sum of every percentage of
men
Use synonyms
in each sport was more than 150%,
therefore
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, there were a lot of
men
Use synonyms
who were doing more than 1 activity.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words men with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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