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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart compares the amount of money (in millions of euros) that people in four different age groups from Paris, France, spent on going to the cinema, restaurants and music concerts in 2019.

The bar chart compares the amount of money (in millions of euros) that people in four different age groups from Paris, France, spent on going to the cinema, restaurants and music concerts in 2019.
The graph provides information about
comparison
Correct article usage
the comparison
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 amount of
money
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
 spent on cinema,
restaurants
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 and
Use synonyms
concert
Fix the agreement mistake
concerts
show examples
 in Paris from four different age groups. The unit measures in
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
show examples
 of
Euro
Fix the agreement mistake
euros
show examples
. Generally,
people
Use synonyms
 in Paris on
avaerage
Correct your spelling
average
 spent their
money
Use synonyms
 for 38
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 in a year.
Therefore
Linking Words
, based on the
Correct your spelling
bar chart
barchart
Punctuation problem
barchart,
show examples
 we can
classified
Wrong verb form
classify
show examples
 that
people
Use synonyms
 spent about 12
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 in cinemas, 25 million in
restaurants
Use synonyms
 and 10
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 music
Use synonyms
concert
Fix the agreement mistake
concerts
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 mostly spent their
money
Use synonyms
 in the
restaurants
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 average of 17 million
except
Punctuation problem
, except
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 for the 18-25
group
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 mostly use their
money
Use synonyms
 to
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
 the
concert
Use synonyms
 by spending about 18
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 in a year.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the contrary,
people
Use synonyms
 in the
group
Use synonyms
 of 56-86 only spent their
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
concert
Fix the agreement mistake
concerts
show examples
 only around 7
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 40-55
group
Use synonyms
 can
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 around 22
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 only for
restaurants
Use synonyms
 that
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 them
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
group
Use synonyms
 with the most spending on
restaurants
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, people, restaurants, concert, millions, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • spend
  • spent
  • spend on
  • money
  • euros
  • millions
  • bar chart
  • category
  • activity
  • age group
  • Paris
  • France
  • 2019
  • paraphrase
  • overview
  • pattern
  • trend
  • highest
  • lowest
  • more
  • less
  • increase
  • decrease
  • rise
  • fall
  • grow
  • drop
  • compare
  • difference
  • cinema
  • restaurant
  • music concert
  • amount
  • total
  • average
  • on the one hand
  • on the other hand
  • overall
  • in general
  • shows
  • indicates
  • reveals
  • however
  • therefore
  • and
  • but
  • also
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