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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
The pie charts illustrate the expenditure of
aqua
Use synonyms
, based on percentage for 3 different purposes, namely,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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 industrial, agricultural, and commercial. The H2O is utilised in 6 locations of the world: Europe, North and South USA, Africa, Southeast
Asia
Use synonyms
, and
Use synonyms
Asia
Correct article usage
the Asia
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center
Change the spelling
centre
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 areas. As it is gathered from the charts, Europe and North America use approximately 15 per
cent
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 of H2O for doing household chores.
In contrast
Linking Words
, nearly fifty per
cent
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 of
aqua
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 is consumed for the manufacturing of products on an industrial scale. H2O
utilization
Change the spelling
utilisation
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 for the cultivation of crops in developing countries
South-East
Punctuation problem
, South-East
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Asia
Use synonyms
, Africa, and
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
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 Districts of
Asia
Use synonyms
 is 81%,84%, and 88%, respectively. In these three areas same portion of H2O is utilised for home-related activities. But the consumption of
aqua
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 in
industries
Check wording
these states
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 is too low in these states. The most interesting point is the difference in industrial H2O expenditure in developed states , North and South USA. South America only use ten per
cent
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 of
aqua
Use synonyms
 for industrial purposes.
This
Linking Words
 continent uses approximately seventy per
cent
Use synonyms
 of H2O for farming of plants, vegetables, and fruits.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words aqua, h, asia, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
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