IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 charts illustrate the
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
time
Use synonyms
 working adults spent on six different chores in two different years .
Overall
Linking Words
 , working
remaines
Correct your spelling
remains
 the most priority to adults in the two years ,
while
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 spent on travelling in purpose of work represented the smallest
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 in 1958 , with
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in 2008 . In 1958 ,
time
Use synonyms
 spent on working and sleeping was almost the same , with one third
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
time
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
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alloacated
Correct your spelling
allocated
 to working , and 32
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 sleeping .
Use synonyms
time
Fix capitalization
Time
show examples
 spent on going out with friends or family was modestly long at 19 % .
In contrast
Linking Words
 ,
time
Use synonyms
 spent on relaxing at home and other interests or playing sports was relatively short
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 8 % for relaxing at home and 6 % for other interests .
Linking Words
FInally
Fix capitalization
Finally
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, travelling to work was the least priority
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 reflected on
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 spent on it (2 %) .
Fifty-years
Use the right word
Fifty years
show examples
 later ,
Working
Fix capitalization
working
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 and sleeping remained the
highest
Punctuation problem
highest,
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accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for the largest proportion of
time
Use synonyms
 , with 42 % and 25 % respectively ,
while
Linking Words
 relaxing at home and
travel
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 to work and other interests or playing sports have increased slightly with 5 % , 6 % and 2 % respectively .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • activities
  • working adults
  • increase
  • decrease
  • shift
  • balance
  • time
  • significant
  • household tasks
  • leisure
  • reflect
  • importance
  • education
  • personal development
  • stable
  • constant
  • development
  • focus
  • responsibilities
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