IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many individuals submit their private
informations
Correct your spelling
information
 online. Like where they live, phone numbers, and bank
informations
Correct your spelling
information
 for their day-to-day life. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 could be dangerous for many reasons.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it
acctually
Correct your spelling
actually
 depends on what
is
Verb problem
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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site you use or
socialize
Change the spelling
socialise
show examples
 in, if
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 official or not. Most people do not check if the sites
they'r
Correct your spelling
they're
 using are the real sites that they want.
This
Linking Words
 can cause real damage to the user. Especially if he's
daeling
Correct your spelling
dealing
 with bank websites and
such
Linking Words
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think
this
Linking Words
 way of using the internet most
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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ends with a negative impact. So, I advise everyone
to not
Correct word order
not to
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 try to insert
there
Use the right word
their
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 personal information everywhere. Around 80
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of the world's theft and scams
happens
Correct subject-verb agreement
happen
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet.
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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 we see new methods
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 scamming
everyday
Use the right word
every day
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we have to be careful in that matter. Inserting your personal stuff online could
resault
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result
 in a really horrible way.
That is
Linking Words
 why companies around the globe send spam emails to their employees, showing them new possible ways of scams. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, getting
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 private stuff
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 many websites for scammers to see can turn into a huge issue. Stay safe and keep your important information
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 official websites.
Moreover
Linking Words
, even big companies deal with that problem. And
this
Linking Words
 is easily the most common way of theft.

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General plan
Plan before you write. Use 3 parts: intro, 2 body points, and a short ending.
Task Response
State your view in the first line and keep it clear.
Coherence
Give one strong example for each point and link it to the prompt.
Language
Use simple words and check common mistake in spelling and form.
Strength
You show a clear view that online data can be risky
Strength
You talk about risk with bank sites and wrong sites
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personal information
  • Online privacy
  • Security concerns
  • Identity theft
  • Enhanced connectivity
  • Convenient access
  • Social networks
  • Banking purposes
  • Positive development
  • Negative impact
What to do next:
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