IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The line grapgh below shows the population size, birth rate and death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000.

The given line graph illustrates the three demographic features, namely population size,
birth
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rate
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 and
death
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rate
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, of England and Wales between 1700 and 2000.
Overall
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, the size of the population has recorded a drastic increase over the centuries,
while
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 both the
birth
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 and
death
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 parameters followed a fluctuating trend. In 1700, only less than five million
people
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 lived in England and Wales, which doubled by the next fifty years, reaching ten million.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the number of
people
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 stabilised until 1800, a rapid growth in the population size was noted in the following two centuries to reach 55 million inhabitants by 2000. Meanwhile,
birth
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rate
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 and
death
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rate
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 followed a similar pattern until 1950.
Initially
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, the proportion of
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birth
Fix the agreement mistake
births
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 and
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death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
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 was recorded at around 30 and 27, respectively, per 1000
people
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 in 1700. Though the figures rose slightly in 1750,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 followed a fluctuating pattern until 1950. In 1950, the
birth
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rate
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 surged considerably from just above 20 to approximately 35 in 2000,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
death
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rate
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 remained unchanged at 20 per 1000
people
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.

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task
You cover the main facts of the graph and give some data.
coherence
Put ideas in a clear order: intro, overview, then details, to help the reader.
task
Check that numbers and time periods fit the text and are used right.
task
You state the big rise in population and the link to birth and death rates.
coherence
The essay uses data from the graph, not just guess.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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