IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Fossil fuels such as coal, oil, and natural gas are main energy sources in many countries. The use of renewable energy like wind and solar power is being encouraged. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

There is a view that fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
such
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 as oil and natural gas have been the main sources of
energy
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 for many years.
However
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, many governments are now encouraging the use of renewable
energy
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 like wind and solar power. I personally believe that
this
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 is a positive development because it protects the environment and provides long-term
energy
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 security. On the one hand, relying heavily on carbon-intensive
fuels
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 contributes significantly to air pollution and global warming. These environmental problems are already causing severe consequences, including extreme weather and rising sea levels.
Additionally
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, fossil
fuels
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 are non-renewable resources, and their continued use will only worsen the situation.
For
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this
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 reason, renewable
energy
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 sources, which produce almost no emissions, are essential for the decarbonization of the economy.
On the other hand
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, shifting to clean
energy
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 helps ensure long-term
energy
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 security. Fossil
fuels
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 come from finite
energy
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 reserves that will eventually run out, increasing the risk of future
energy
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 shortages. By developing renewable
energy
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 technologies, countries can
also
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 reduce fossil fuel dependency and avoid relying on imported oil and gas.
Although
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 renewable systems may require higher initial investment, they become more cost-effective over time and can be supported by
energy
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 conservation measures that encourage people to reduce unnecessary
energy
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 use. In conclusion, promoting renewable
energy
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 is undoubtedly a positive development. It protects the environment, reduces dependence on finite fossil
fuels
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, and supports a more stable and sustainable
energy
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 future.

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task
State your view clearly in the start and end to be sure the idea is clear.
coherence
Use smooth links to move from one idea to the next. Words like also, but, so help a lot.
content
Give one main idea in each paragraph and add one simple example to show why it matters.
language
Try to use easy words. Some long terms can slow the read.
task
Clear view and a good plan.
structure
Intro, two body parts and a conclusion are well laid.
cohesion
Good linking words help the flow.
content
The text talks about real issues like air pollution and weather.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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