IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You work in a busy but poorly organized office and you are keen to be promoted. Your employer needs to find a new supervisor for your department. Write a letter to your employer. In the letter • Ask to be considered for this job • Explain why you would be a suitable candidate • Outline the current problems and the changes you would like to make

Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform
Correct pronoun usage
you about
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about
Change preposition
of
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 my interest towards the battery supervisor role that you
post
Wrong verb form
posted
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 on the company's portal.
Its
Use the right word
It's
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 been three years, working as a
team
Use synonyms
 lead in
battery
Correct article usage
the battery
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 department with your organisation, and I
had comprehend
Wrong verb form
have comprehended
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 the ins and outs of the project with expertise in handling internal and external stakeholders. It would be great if you consider my resume for
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 because my skill set perfectly
align
Correct subject-verb agreement
aligns
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 with the
job
Use synonyms
 duties.
Furthermore
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, having five years of experience in leadership and project management
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
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 in my former
companys
Correct your spelling
company
,
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 made me capable
to lead
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of leading
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 the
team
Use synonyms
 effectively by achieving
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
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 major milestones.
Besides
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,
supervisor
Correct article usage
the supervisor
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 role demands
to take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 initiative and
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 the
team
Use synonyms
sprit
Use the right word
spirit
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, which I believe
that
Correct word choice
apply
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I
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 gained through
from
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apply
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my work experience. I feel that my abilities and knowledge are being fully utilised because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of roles and
responsiblities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
Punctuation problem
,
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and to be honest, there is not much work for me to do in the organisation, and sometimes I feel worthless
of
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for
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 not contributing to your
oragnsiation
Correct your spelling
organisation
.
Therefore
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, if you would
able
Verb problem
be able
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 to
insist
Verb problem
offer
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 me
with
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apply
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this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
job
Punctuation problem
job,
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then
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 can use my skills and
knowlede
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 to lead the
team
Use synonyms
 effectively. I am assuming that you will consider my
job
Use synonyms
 application, and schedule
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an interview to
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
further
Linking Words
 about my goals towards the company's growth. Yours faithfully, Jack

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language
Fix grammar and spelling errors (e.g., It's, companies, responsibilities).
structure
Break long lines into short, clear sentences.
structure
Split the letter into clear paragraphs: intro, why you are good, problems and changes, close.
content
Be more positive and confident; avoid talking about feeling useless.
content
Give a specific example of a task you led and the result to show impact.
tone
Formal tone fits this job.
content
Shows you have leadership experience.
content
You show you want the job and how you will help the company grow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • keen to be promoted
  • suitable candidate
  • supervisor role
  • relevant experience
  • organizational abilities
  • problem-solving skills
  • familiarity with current problems
  • impact on productivity
  • streamlining processes
  • improving communication channels
  • introducing new tools and technologies
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